


The Night We Met

by GoThruTheStars



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Austons just really scared okay, Depression, Emotionally Constipated Hockey Players, M/M, Marty is just worried, Suicide Attempt, all figuring their shit out, also hes an idiot, and scared, and the team that loves them, honestly everyones scared, one step at a time, probably an unhealthy relationship, this is so fuckin angsty, trigger warning, two idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-13
Packaged: 2019-06-26 15:11:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15665745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoThruTheStars/pseuds/GoThruTheStars
Summary: Mitch knew, when it happened, if it ever did happen, that it wouldn't be like the other times he's ended relationships. Maybe because it took so much work for him to get into this one - or maybe because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Auston.Not that it mattered anymore.(Not that any of it mattered anymore.)





	The Night We Met

**Author's Note:**

> This...I have no idea where this came from. Also, until further notice, I'm obsessed with using songs for fics. 
> 
> Also please read the tags, if this is not for you please don't read.

_I am not the only the only traveler_

_Who has not repaid his debt_

_I’ve been searching for a trail to follow again_

_Take me back to the night we met_

_And then I can tell myself_

_What the hell I’m supposed to do_

_And then I can tell myself_

_Not to ride along with you_

_I had all of you and then most of you some and now none of you_

_Take me back to the night we met_

_\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

 

The thing with Auston was that Mitch never thought it would be this that ended them. He never thought it would be _Auston_ that ended them. Well he thought - yeah it would be Auston who said _I’m done_ but not because of something like this.

 

Mitch always assumed that he would be the one to fuck it up. He _knew_ he would, and in a way, he was right.

 

He just asked- he just wanted to tell them. He wanted to be able to tell Marty, and Patty, and Willy and Zach and his family and-

 

It was a spectacular fight really. He isn’t innocent in all of this, he said things too, because it’s been _two years_ , and Auston had the audacity to look at him and tell him that it was just sex, it wasn’t _real like that_ -

 

When it rains it pours.

 

That’s the other thing with Auston. When they got together, Mitch knew how bad it would hurt if they ever split. He knew how it would feel - how it would drag him down, every day, every minute, every second. How it would be an effort just to exist. How much it would _hurt_.

 

It was like his soul was broken, shattered into thousands of pieces that sat in a pile at the bottom of his stomach, so he had to walk around with phantom pains in his chest and a sinking feeling in his gut.

 

He doesn’t talk to him. There’s no texts, no phone calls, no CoD dates. What was their friendship is nothing but crumbled promises and dusty memories.

 

The fight happened during playoffs. They dropped the series, ironically, and Mitch stayed in Toronto, living in his empty husk of an apartment, while everyone else went back to their lives.

 

He was just so tired of hiding. He was so happy, and he thought Auston was too, and he didn’t see any reason for them to keep that happiness from their best friends.

 

Two years.

 

Mitch stares at the ring in his drawer, the one he found underneath all the old socks he never wears while he was looking for his extra phone charger. In a way, he thinks he should be proud he forgot about it, because they fought in April, and now its September, so maybe he is getting over it somewhat. Except the ring was one he spent four months picking out, and the ring is something he was going to give to Auston after playoffs, and the ring is what Mitch _thought they had._

 

He finds the ring, and thinks he should be proud, because he only sobs for a few hours instead of all day.

 

The thing with Auston, was that Mitch still loved him.

 

\-------

 

Hockey season is both easier and harder. It provides a monumental distraction, but also a great challenge.

 

To be honest it goes by in a blur.

 

He thought he was strong enough for it. He thought seeing Matty would be okay, since he’d be keeping it civil and professional and the guys would be around again anyway and besides it’s not like he wanted to keep staying in his apartment all day.

 

He thought he was strong enough for it.

 

He isn’t.

 

Everytime Auston walks in the locker room, Mitch is reminded of the times they used walk in together. Everytime he laughs with the guys, Mitch is reminded of how _he_ used to be the one to elicit that sound.

 

Everytime Auston does anything, Mitch is reminded how he isn’t there to do it with him.

 

It’s not like Auston needed Mitch. He knows that, he _knew_ that, even when they were together. He knew how one sided it was, and it’s pretty obvious now, watching Matts be free and happy and _okay_ , and watching him do it without Mitch.

 

Hockey season makes him leave his apartment for something other than food or the gym. But it also puts him around a lot more people, people who are going to look at him, and it’s much harder to keep up the pretense of being fine around these guys. So he doesn’t. He stops.

 

They win games, and they lose them, but Mitch isn’t the bright spot in the room anymore. He stops trying, and it’s incredible how quickly the team reshapes itself. Where there used to be awkward holes in the conversations - holes he used to fill - there’s nothing, a smooth streak of bright happiness or a quiet blanket of disappointment, no longer disturbed by the lack of Mitch Marners input.

 

He fades. And it’s so much easier to be here, and play hockey, when you’re team doesn’t even know you’re there unless you’re on the ice. He doesn’t let them suffer, he won’t let his hockey decline just because he doesn’t want to be in the spotlight anymore, and the teams winning more than they’re losing.

 

At first, it was a constant stream of no’s. Invitation to go out, asks to come over and game, drinks, dinner, movies, clubs.

 

After a while, they stopped asking. Even Marty and Patty are distant. It’s perfect, and it works just fine for Mitch, who’s busy hiding away from the smile on Austons face.

 

It’s perfect for someone who’s scared to keep living like this. Perfect, in the way that there’s nothing else that could make it better.

 

\-------

 

It sort of amazes Mitch, even as its November, and he hasn’t gone out with any of his teammates in seven months, that he really wasn’t that important to them. He knows he wasn’t that important to Auston, but he just thought - well, he was selfish. What did he expect them to do, continually worry about him for the entire hockey season? When Mitch is giving clear signals that he doesn’t want them around?

 

If he wasn’t currently playing on the second line, he’d be concerned of getting sent down. Or a trade. Or something, because he’s pretty sure the rookies don’t even know his name, for how much his presence is noticed in the locker room now.

 

Some days, he wonders if they would even notice if he was gone.

 

\------

 

He never tells his mom. He avoids her as long as he could at first, and then facetimes her when she threatens to show up at his door. She took one look at his face and started crying with him.

 

He hasn’t talked to his dad since then, and he wonders if its because his mom told his dad and now he hates Mitch, or if its because his dad knows the last thing Mitch wants is to talk about _this_ with him. He barely texts his brother. His friends outside of the NHL probably think he dropped off the face of the earth or something.

 

It’s not surprising. Auston didn’t want to be seen with him, why would anyone else? Besides, Mitch has been very effectively blocking everyone out. He’s even getting concerned looks from Babs now.

 

That might’ve been his warning.

 

He thought he got lucky. Or- something. It’s weird, how he goes from being glad that no ones noticed how he’s disappeared, (faded, how hes slipped into the shadows and _stayed_ ) to being _hurt_ about it.

 

He doesn’t want to keep living like this, but sometimes, when he looks in the mirror, he starts crying because he doesn’t recognize who he is, and that, out of everything, is what drives the darks thoughts and the morbid ideas.

 

They’re at practice, and Mitch is standing next to Auston, and there’s no tension, no recognition, not even a hello. It’s like they never knew each other all, like they never even met before. Like even though he’s standing next to someone he thought he would have a family with, he may as well be standing next to a wall, because that’s about how human Auston feels to him.

 

Mitch doesn’t even have the room inside himself to feel hurt by it.

 

\--------

 

He never really believed in fate, but this definitely has him considering it’s legitimacy.

 

He’s sitting in the tub, clothes on, and it’s like - he’s crying. He hates this, hates that he’s _here,_ when he could’ve been so many other places. He hates himself, he hates his life, he hates what he’s doing to his team and his family. He hates the empty bottle of painkillers that’s sitting on the countertop (he doesn’t know if they’ll be enough, but he thinks he can feel his limbs getting heavy anyway, so he guesses he’ll find out).

 

He hates his tears, hates the empty feeling in his chest, and he hates that he couldn’t ask for help. He hates that he didn’t know how.

 

It’s the irony, or a sign from god, or just damn good timing, because there’s a knock on his apartment door.

 

Mitch doesn’t move. He sobs harder, because maybe this person won’t leave, maybe they’ll try to come in. He left his door unlocked, just in case. Maybe they’ll _care_.

 

He closes his eyes, sucking in air with shaky inhales. He doesn’t feel good, but he doesn’t know if its from the pills or the weight he’s been carrying around thats pressing even harder at his shoulders.

 

“ _Mitch!”_ His name sounds weird, like it’s coming from underwater, and when he feels himself being moved he realizes that’s because he _was_ underwater. Or like, he sort of was. He must’ve slide down a little, and his head was just so heavy so he let it slip to the side a little and his ear was like submerged or something.

 

That persons still talking. It doesn’t sound like they’re talking to him though, more like another person - _wow_ that really sounds like Patty -

 

Mitch grunts as pain, real _physical_ pain crisscrosses his chest. He drags his eyes open, a whole effort that takes way to much out of him. He sees Marty's face, scared and pale, can only watch as it blurs and morphs before his eyes, things focusing and unfocusing when he blinks slowly.

 

He hears him talk - yelling at him to just _stay awake, look at me Mitchy, you have to stay awake -_ and all that Mitch can think is how happy he is that Matt doesn’t try and tell him he’s okay.

 

He’s not okay. He hasn’t been okay - he gave so much to Auston, to the team, to hockey, and there’s nothing left to keep for himself.

 

He thought no one noticed. But he turned off his phone, had no plans, no reason for anyone to miss him, so Marty must’ve come over because he wanted to. Because he was worried. Because he saw Mitch falling, and came to catch him _._

 

He _noticed_.

 

The older mans face goes through some interesting emotions, and Mitch realizes he must’ve said that last part out loud. He wants to sit up, and there’s a set of gentle hands that help him do so, even though Marty doesn’t move. There’s a soft voice with those gentle hands and Mitch crawls his way to the toilet, shaking with cold.

 

Pat. That’s _Patrick Marleau_ ( that’s his dad on the road, that’s the guy who would let him cry into his shoulder and then five minutes later smush a cupcake in his face, that’s _Patty)_ wrapping a towel around his shoulders, rubbing a hand up and down his back as Mitch makes himself throw up.

 

It’s Patty and Marty, who stay with him for the next two hours while he sweats and shivers, who don’t call an ambulance, who don’t yell at him for being sad like Mitch expects them too. It’s been almost a year, how is he this messed up still? How did he get _here?_

 

They make him a pack his duffle bag and drive him to Marty and Syd’s house.

 

It’s Patty who lets him sob for hours, who _listens_ as Mitch tells him everything, words spilling from his lips like blood from a wound. It’s Marty who tells Mitch that he’s going to stay with him for a while, as long as he needs or wants. It’s both of them, who tell Mitch they love him, and they want him to live, and they want him to be happy.

 

If he succeeded, he would’ve crushed them. He feels bad about that, but not as bad as he thinks he should.

 

Sometimes, he showers and doesn’t shave, because Marty will find him looking at the razor for too long, and Syd will hide it under the pretense of throwing it out on accident.

 

(It’s enough. Them being there. It’s enough.)

 

\--------

 

November comes and goes, and Mitch is left floundering, trying to remember how to be himself again. (He wants to live, he knows that now, but he can’t quite remember how it’s supposed to work. It was so easy before, so natural, and now Mitch has to _try_ at it). It’s weird, the first time, when he listens to a conversation between Willy and Freddie and some stupid joke falls from his lips instead of being held back.

 

Even more weird when the locker room goes silent, Willy and Freddie staring at him like he’s some kind of alien. It makes him feel too small for their expectations, and he can’t take his eyes from the floor, so he doesn’t, just shrinks back into the stall until everyone moves to resume their activities.

 

When everyone's dressed, and Mitch is still in only his Under Armour, he stands and goes to find coach, and quietly asks to be scratched. Babs only gives him a look, like he wants to say _no go put your stuff on_ , but not in a mean way, in the sort of fatherly worried way that Mitch has been getting lately. He agrees anyway, even as he slowly explains to mitch that it would be a healthy scratch, and Mitch slips his way through shadows he’s been living in lately, and no one says anything to him as they walk out in their gear.

 

Mitch finds a sweatshirt in his bag and spends the game curled in a ball on one of the med tables.

 

They lose.

 

The locker room is so quiet afterwards, because it was a home game, and it was the Stars, who more and more are starting to look like they’ll be in the playoffs while the Leafs aren’t.

 

Mitch sits in his stall, already in sweats, bag packed, and is shoving his feet into socks and sneakers when he feels eyes on him.

 

Again, it’s not in the mean way (at least he doesn’t think so) when he looks up to find gazes quickly pulled away, guys scattering a little bit. Marty appears next to him, quietly asking if he’s ready to go, and it hits Mitch, the reason why some of the guys were looking at him hopefully.

 

They were waiting. Back before him and Auston - Mitch remembers how he’d pull himself together, walk around, being quiet but goofy, trying to get smiles on even the most serious players faces.

 

When he leaves today, after Patty gives him a hug and Marty throws an arm around his shoulders, the locker room is still quiet and tense and...sad.

 

He asks Marty about it, later when Syds asleep on one shoulder and Mitch is quickly following on the other.

 

“Because Mitchy.” Matt answers like that’s going to explain everything.

 

“Because why?” He responds around a yawn. Marty uses his hand to tug the blanket a little tighter around Mitch.

 

“Because they miss you. And they were hoping you were back.”

 

\-------

 

Mitch thinks about Auston a lot. He thinks about what he’d say to him, what he’d want him to know, what he’d want to keep for himself.

 

Patty invites him to stay with him and his family for Christmas, like he somehow knew Mitch already told him his mom he wasn’t going to be able to come home (which is stupid, given how close Mitch is to them, but his mom just smiled at him and told him it would be okay). Marty and Syd are going out of town, something Marty was freaking out over, and Mitch says yes because he loves the Marleau's, and he might as well do _something_ for the holiday, plus it appeases Matt.

 

He thinks (he _thought_ ) if he saw Auston again, if Auston wanted to talk, he wouldn’t be angry anymore. But then it’s the second tuesday in December, and he’s walking down stairs, hair still wet from the shower, and he hears Marty arguing with someone.

 

“-please Matt, I just want to _talk to him-”_

 

_“_ And I said _no._ You don’t get to come around here after all this time, suddenly deciding you _care.”_

 

“No that’s not- I never _stopped_ caring, I just didn’t know what to do, _please_ Marty-”

 

“Get out of here Auston.”

 

And yeah.

 

There’s that.

 

Syd notices him first, standing like a wall, a secondary defense behind her fiance. Her eyes widen, and she turns, putting a hand on Marty’s shoulder (Marty, who’s standing tall and tense, like he’s ready to fight someone. He probably is, considering he just spent six weeks trying to put Mitch back together, he probably doesn’t want all his hard work to be destroyed).

 

“Matt.” Sydney whispers, and all eye turn to Mitch, and Mitch thinks -

 

Of all the scenarios in his head, he never imagined Auston looking this _scared._ He’s actually _crying_ in front of Matt Martin, and Mitch is just standing there in sweatpants with a towel in the midst of rubbing his hair dry, and of all the things he’s feeling, he never thought relief would be one of them.

 

( _Fuck_ that, a part of him screams, while another is happy he feels anything at all.)

 

“Auston?” He hates that his voice breaks. He hates a lot of things, including how he can’t seem to figure out how to be happy without the guy who literally ripped his heart out, but the fact that Auston must _know_ that, he hates that the most. “What are you- why-”

 

“I just wanted to talk to you Mitchy-”

 

Marty rounds back on Auston. “And I said _no!_ What don’t you get about this? He-”

 

“Talk about _what_ ?” Mitch snaps over Marty, anger surging over the pain ( _defend_ , his heart screams, _drive him away_ , get him _away_ , it’s better than feeling the love you still have for him). “What the fuck do you have to say to me that you haven’t already said? Because the last conversation we had you made it _abundantly_ clear that you didn’t want me around, so what the fuck is this, eight month later, that you so desperately need to say?”

 

Auston opens, then closes his mouth, and shakes his head, and chokes out an _I’m sorry_ , and leaves.

 

Sydney hugs him really tight and Marty ends up going for a run so he doesn’t explode and Mitch-

 

Mitch doesn’t start crying until later that night when Patty texts him asking to talk.

 

\------

 

The thing with Auston is, was that he still loved him.

 

When Pat sits him down and says that he thinks he should listen to Auston, he agrees with him, because it’s Patty, and the way he says it makes Mitch think that he knows more than he’s telling.

 

Auston is nervous, when they meet at the rink. Mitch manages to slip away from Marty and they find an empty conference room, and Auston talks.

 

He tells Mitch everything. Tells him that he was scared - terrified really. Tells him that he thought that people would look at them and assume that Auston was like this- this disgusting thing, that was leeching off of Mitch. He tells Mitch that he didn’t think he was good enough for Mitch, and that he thought, if maybe Mitch thought that Auston thought that Mitch wasn’t anything, then he’d move on, he’d find someone better.

 

Mitch is angry. Really, really angry.

 

He also understands where Auston is coming from.

 

(He hates that he understands. Hates it.)

 

“Mitch I- I don’t expect you to believe me-”

 

“You do, otherwise you wouldn’t be saying this right now.” Mitch interrupts, because it’s everything he’s wanted to hear, but never thought he could, and Auston’s hurt him _so badly_ , and he still wants him back.

 

Maybe that’s why he’s been struggling so much lately, because it’s easier to be nothing than it is to be something without him.

 

“Would you please just _listen?”_

 

“Why should I?! You fucking ripped my heart out, you asshole! You told me two years was _nothing!_ You told me _I_ was nothing!”

 

Mitch believed him too. That was the problem.

 

Auston just shakes his head. There’s a tear going down his cheek.

 

Mitch wishes he was cold. He’s had so much numbness lately, he almost misses that it’s not here now. He wishes that eight months made him hard, and he could look at Auston with steel in his eyes and tell him to fuck off.

 

He wishes he could enjoy Auston’s tears, his pain, because maybe it would be akin to what _Mitch_ has had to go through, every _fucking_ day.

 

He can’ though. He can’t, because it’s still Auston, and it’s still- both of them in this much pain is just- its so _stupid_.

 

“I love you.” Auston whispers.

 

“Shut up.” Mitch snaps, but he keeps going anyway.

 

“And you wanted to make it real. I wanted to make it real too, and I was so happy you had waited that long, but Mitch - I was so _scared_ , that if you told everybody, and then we broke up-”. Auston drops his head. Sits in a chair, puts his head in his hands.

 

Mitch stands and stares.

 

“I was so fucking stupid. I thought that you would be better, so much better, without me. Like you would finally see how amazing you are, and then you’d be happier - and I knew you weren’t happy, those last months, Mitch I _knew_ \- but I couldn’t- I didn’t know how to say that if I lost you, I would’ve-”

 

“You lost me anyway.” Mitch whispers, heart thudding painfully in his chest. It’s like - he’s angry, he’s so angry, but he’s also so idiotically _excited_ . Sure, he knows _why_ now. He gets it, in some stupid convoluted way, because he believed for the longest time (brownie called them the pining years) that he wasn’t good enough to stand next to Auston, nevermind date him.

  


And now Auston is explaining all this, and yeah Mitch wants to punch him, but it’s like - like maybe a part of him that’s always _hoped -_ that part is jumping up and down and screaming with joy, because what if- if they could-

 

_No._ He tells that part of himself.

 

_Oh, but_ **_yes_ ** it says back, and- well, fuck-

 

“You could’ve just said _this_ \- we could’ve worked through it, and instead I’ve spent the last eight _months_ in a black hole because I was convinced you thought I was nothing but a good fuck! I gave you _everything_ Auston! Everything! And you left and took all of it!”

 

He angry. He’s angry, he’s angry, he’s angry.

 

He loves him.

 

Auston cries, and Mitch cries too, and they love each other.

 

“I watched you _fall_ Marns, and I didn’t- I still don’t know what to do to help you. Every time I thought about saying something, I kept- like I knew you hated me and I didn’t want to make it worse, and then Marty came over and screamed at me because you almost died and I- it’s all my fault and I know that but Patty said you needed to know.”

 

And that’s-

 

“Marty told you?” Mitch says weakly. He needs to sit down or something. The room shouldn’t be spinning like this.

 

Auston stares at him, wide eyes, and nods after a slight pause. “He came over- he looks so scared and angry and which was ironic because being faced with an angry Matt Martin also made me scared and equally angry and he said that it was my fault and I know that, I know that Mitch, and I hate myself for it, and then I was- I even more scared of coming and talking to you because I thought it would hurt you more and-”

 

“Auston, shut _up_.” Mitch snaps, effectively cutting of his rambling. He’s gripping the edge of the table with white knuckles and closed eyes, forcing deep breaths. He needs to- he needs to not be here. Right now. He needs to go.

 

Mitch walks out the door and doesn’t look back.

 

That night he sits in the tub and lets the shower spit water onto his back until he’s shivering with cold.

 

He’s a fucking idiot.

 

(He’s also in love with one, so maybe it works out.)

 

\---------

 

Marty tells him again and again and again, and Patty even seems to want Mitch to get his brain checked, because _he hurt you so bad Mitch, why would you give him this_ but Mitch is an masochist or something, because he knocks on Austons apartment door, and when Auston opens it he punches him in the face.

 

He also kisses him right after that, so maybe decision making isn’t very high up on his list of skills.

 

Auston stares at him with wide eyes after, when Mitch is still standing in the hallway of their shared apartment building (the one he hasn’t stepped foot in since _that_ night).

 

“What-”

 

“I believe you.” Mitch says. “But I haven’t forgiven you.”

 

Auston stares. Blinks once, twice. Nods.

 

“Good.” Auston says. “I don’t want you to. I haven’t earned it yet.”

 

“Good.” Mitch says back, and he knows he’s got control of this, he knows the ball is in his court, he knows what happens is up to _him_.

 

He doesn’t stay. But he steps back, and stuff his hands in his pockets, and hesitates, and decides.

 

“I’m coming over on Saturday to beat your ass in fortnite and you better have shitty food to eat because if you don’t I’m going to throw your TV out of your window.”

 

Auston _smiles_ , and Mitch is fucked, because he smiles to, an smiles all the way back to Marty’s house.

  


\--------

 

Matt Martin is one very protective person.

 

“You aren’t going back there.”

 

“Marty-”

 

“ _No_ Mitch, just-” He waves his hand around, angry, _worried_ . Mitch gets this, he does, and he’s not ready to leave the Martin’s house yet. Jax is laying on the couch, head on Mitch’s lap, tracking Marty with his eyes as he paces the living room. “-why _, why_ , would you go back to him- I know what he did to you Mitch, he-”

 

“ _Marty_.” Mitch looks up at him and smiles, small and sincere. “I know what he did too. I was there.”

 

Matt’s shoulders slump. Sydney, glances up at him from where she's’ curled in the armchair, book momentarily forgotten for the careful eyes she lays on her significant other.

 

“ _Why,_ Mitchy? Why would you do that to yourself?”

 

‘ _Excellent question_ ’ the logical part of his brain yells. Mitch pets Jax’s head and runs his fingers over the soft fur of his ears and decides on the truth.

 

“He makes me happy Marty.”

 

And for however much Marty wants to keep fight for Mitch, he can’t argue with that.

 

\-----------

 

“This is stupid.” Auston grumbles.

 

“Shut up.” Marty and Mitch say at the same time. Patty gives them a look that’s known in the Marleau household as ‘ _One more word and you’re both in time out’._

 

Mitch and Auston would know. They’ve seen it enough times.

 

“Why do I have to-”

 

“ _Auston_ .” Mitch pleads. “You _promised_ . And before you give me the ‘well you wouldn’t want to do it’, I _have_ and I _am_.” He sends an elbow into Marty’s rib cage to keep the smart comment from getting out.

 

“ _Ow_ , I wasn’t going to say anything Mouse-”

 

“Aus.” Patty nods towards the door, ignoring both Mitch and Marty. “You’re okay. Just talk.”

 

Auston stares at him like that’s the most terrifying thing he’s ever heard of.

 

Mitch gets that. It took him at least three tries to even walk through the door, and another two sessions before he would actually _talk_ to his therapist, and Paul is like the most accepting guy he’s ever met.

 

This isn’t Paul - this is Alex, the team therapist that Mitch didn’t know they had until Marty asked if him if he would like to talk to her for a little bit. But Alex is nice too.

 

“Listen if you can score four goals in your first NHL game, you can do this too.” Auston whips his head around to stare at him.

 

“Listen _Mitchell-_ ”

 

“And _in we go_!” Mitch yells and pushes Auston towards the door.

 

(And maybe it takes a while, and maybe Mitch is still learning how to trust again, but maybe Auston is learning too. And that's okay.)

 

\-----------

 

The team is different now. A year and a half since he and Auston first broke up, and they’re playing as a couple again, and the team _knows_.

 

(Oh hey, news flash Auston, _they don’t care_ , haha).

 

They didn’t know at first. But it didn’t matter, because all of Auston’s smiles seemed more real. Mitch didn’t realize Auston was faking happiness it until he _wasn’t_.

 

And Mitch?

 

Mitch crawls his way back to life.

 

The thoughts don’t magically go away, and the dark pit inside of his chest sometimes seems like it’s going to swallow him whole, but it’s not all the time anymore, and he’s learning that living takes effort, but god damn is it worth it.

 

To be at Marty and Syds wedding, to make a toast that makes Marty cry, to make Willy laugh and to prank Gards and go out with the guys and play miny sticks with the Marleau’s and _Matts_ -

 

It’s hard. At first, it’s almost oppressive, how the team greedily eats up every bit of happiness he has to give them. He thinks about what Marty said, and about them _missing_ Mitch, and thinks maybe he gets it better now.

 

They lose, a game, and Mitch tries, tiptoeing around the locker room until it’s all so much less tense, and so much more hopeful for the next game, and Auston looks at him in awe after Mitch manages to make him laugh.

 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” He whispers, like the locker room somehow isn’t loud.

 

Mitch laughs and the guys all look at him like he just attempted to sing Mariah Carey.

 

Mitch looks around. “What?”

 

(No one says anything, but he gets it, after that.)

 

“I’m not amazing.” He tells Auston, later, when they’re out in the parking lot. “I’m just me.”

 

“Yeah, but Mitchy,” Auston smiles at him, and takes his hand. “Just you is pretty fucking incredible.”

 

\-------

 

Marty hugs him in the locker room, champagne raining down around them.

 

“I’m so proud of you kid.” He whispers, and Mitch hears him, just barely, and laughs.

 

“I’m proud of me too.” He says back, and hugs Marty back.

 

One year since he and Auston got back together, and made it official.

 

One year and two months since Marty and Patty let him move back into his apartment.

 

Sixty four minutes since he won the cup.

 

The thing with Auston was that Mitch never thought it would be this that got them back together. He never thought it would be _Auston_ that took the first step.

 

Looking at the ring on his finger, Mitch is just really, really glad that he did.

 

\-------

  


**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


End file.
